With inflation and job losses I know people are looking at ways to save money. I even asked Dominos if they had any 2 for 1 deals on last night’s takeaway pizza but you have to draw the line somewhere and this goes way way beyond. Our lawyer advised us to advise you not to try any of this at home before you have undertaken medical training or at least put the scissors in a jug of hot water first.
Injectable Treatment – Recycle that deep fat fryer waste oil.
DIY can take many forms, but the most extreme self plastic surgery I’ve ever heard is a case of a Korean woman who had been paying for plastic surgery for years, was forced into treatment for a mental disorder, but was able to find a surgeon who let her give herself her own injections. When she ran out of silicon she took to injecting cooking oil into her face.
Abscess - Roll up your sleeves and dig in
You are on a Round the World Yacht Race stuck in the middle of the ocean and you have an abscess on your arm. This was the problem Russian sailor Viktor Yazykov faced and if he did not do something quickly he was going to lose his arm. He did what we would all do and emailed an infectious disease specialist at the New England Medical Center who told him how to drain the abscess and he carried on his race finishing 10th. Rather you than me Viktor!
Mole Removal – This guy slices like a pro.
Apart from being a little furry mammal that has big paws and dig holes in our lawns they also grow on our skin. That looked a pretty big mole and to be even considering doing it yourself is insane and one of those things really are best left to the professionals. I wonder what he did with it…yeeeeeew!!!. I have a strong stomach and even I had to have two go’s at watching the actual slice.
WARNING THIS VIDEO IS NOT FOR THE SQUEEMISH AND MAY CAUSE YOU TO SEE YOUR BREAKFAST AGAIN
Ear Correction - Superglue has many uses, sticking body parts together is not one.
Using superglue was never going to be permanent solution for correcting prominent ears. Yes I sympathize with those who suffer from this, you must think everybody is going to flick them and have heard every big ears joke under the sun. I have accidentally attached two fingers together with superglue whilst trying to squeeze the last out of a dried up old tube and it burst out the sides, but with enough hot water and chewing it will come undone. Your life must be very cruel to drive you to think that your bat ears are going to stop flapping with nothing more than a household glue. We have found worrying number of cases reported in medical journals of this going on and I guess as the recession hits a couple of dollars for a tube of glue versus several thousand dollars for surgery is an attractive option for some.
Brain Surgery - Just one question..Why?
We have all heard the expression “She/he is no brain surgeon” well this is taking it too far to prove a point. Heather Perry from Gloucester in England attempted to cure her chronic fatigue syndrome by travelling to the US for her “brain surgery” . It seems it all started following an email exchange with a guy in Pennsylvania who said he did his own. All we know is that it consisted of drilling two holes in her own head. It is said that a film crew filmed her DIY brain surgery but we have been unable to locate it (okay we didn’t try that hard to find it) To her surprise it all went wrong and she drilled too deep and needed to have emergency surgery to repair damage to severed membrane that protects brain tissue.
Tattoo Removal – Desperate people do desperate things.
No home DIY surgery kit is complete without power tools and an electric sander is a must for removing that “Bubba & Crystal Forever” tattoo. It does make you wonder what other extremes people will go to rid themselves of their body art. Anyone for a wire brush and a sheet of sandpaper?
Chicken Bone Nose Job - All you need is a chisel and a KFC
Not many people will have looked in the mirror and thought “If only I had chicken bone for a nose I would be happy.” According to Dr David Veale who is a psychologist at the celebrity Priory Hospital in London the unnamed patient “pushed a chisel up his nose and then replaced the cartilage he had taken off with a chicken bone” and continued “These are people who can’t afford to go to a surgeon.” Did anyone ask if he calls it his nose or his beak?